痛…

i wonder is it most of the malaysians couldn’t speak in proper way in
whatever languages
even i doubt on my cantonese and mandarin, it’s not formal enough, and not
genuine too. should i proud of our satu malaysia, manglish?
i feel weird when i start typing my post in proper chinese, you know, it’s
not the way i speak to everyone every single day. i feel myself being
pretentious if i continue writing in such way.

*ahem*
i’ve been browsing through my google reader few days ago. a blog post
written by a best fren of mine in secondary school caught my eye. we have
not met each others for quite a period, maybe only once or twice after
graduation. i’m proud of her, she did very well academically, i guess. her
post is regarding path choosing, future, anxiety, life! she’s actually
reviewing what she’d written 2 years ago.
well, i can remember what i’ve written, should be grumblings, useless
narcissism post to attract idiots.
i am not mature enough, sexy and i know it. but she can, why cant i?
forcing myself to act in her way, talking and behaving like an adult.
please, i am going to 2x this year. i’ll be married if i’m lucky enough,
unfortunately, i’m not.
one of my resolution of year, stop acting like the one you’re not
i try to be myself. what i need is spend more time talking to the inner me,
think further, speak wiser, do better!
back to her topic
the way i feel after reading the post is that well-written post, she has
good english T_T i did spend some time to check definition for a few
vocabulary from google dictionary. seriously, fml.
and her mind is contented, mature enough to encounter obstacles, stride for
what she wanted, doing things which she wanted few years ago. in
contrast, i should get a F for failed, for my life. this makes me having a
strong feeling to deliberate on my future, what i really want, is this the
life i want to pursue
conclusion is that i was inspired to blog in english *laugh*

今年的希望

• 提高EQ 不要再亂發脾氣 聽你說 也是對自己好!
• 工作上自我增值 努力學習
• 少和家人吵架 不了解也沒關係 做好我自己
• 多旅行 做個更有想法 更堅強 更有魅力的人
• 多寫作 讓自己不斷進步 不斷反省
• 多攝影
• 多微笑 因為那個唯一也許會在某處等我 (笑)
• 愛自己 喜歡就做 喜歡就買吧!
• 過去就過去了 take a deep breathe and walk away,我相信我可以

做個最簡單的我 回到當初的美好!

祝福我認識的人 健康 快樂

我覺得自己好可憐 好可憐
好醜陋
inner and outer

我只想做個人見人愛 值得被欣賞的人..
真的很難

剛才喝酒聽歌 其實有一剎那 有一股衝動想撥電話給你
可是壓抑住了

看到你篇日誌後 很慶幸自己的所作所為是正確的
你 真的 和我有一段距離
而我 會看不起你
真的。。。

我想心懷好意 沒有那種特地要惹人厭 找罵的態度 人家自然就會對你也抱著一樣的態度

沒有什麼私心、感覺
只不過想試探自己是否長大 成熟 懂事了一點

yes i did.

我要過得快樂一點 什麼也不要 想 太 多！

嗯

我真的很害怕 這天很快就要降臨
可是我真的很替大家開心之餘 又害怕一個人

總有一天 我會忘記你